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    自恋,有什么好处?
    2014-07-07 16:16:38   来源:果壳网   评论:0 点击:

    你或你的朋友自恋么?要回答这个问题,首先你得了解什么是真正的“自恋”。最重要的一点,是不要混淆“自信”(self-confidence)和“自恋”(narcissism)
    Neel Burton
    英国作家,精神科医师

    IvyP/译)。真正自恋的人心怀强烈的天生优越感、自我膨胀的 幻想,以及对赞赏的渴望。对于自恋程度比较严重的人,还有可能妒忌心强、缺乏同情心,甚至还会不惜利用他人来达到自己的目的。虽然他们可能很有魅力,但许 多时候还是会表现出自私固执、控制欲强以及麻木不仁的特点。一旦感到被奚落或是怠慢了,他们就有可能大发雷霆甚至是伺机报复。这种阵发性的反应有时被称作 “自恋暴怒”,会对迁怒对象造成严重后果。

    那耳喀索斯(Narcissus)是一位英俊的少年。他因在池水中看到自己绝美的脸而爱上自己的倒影,最终憔悴而死,殒命之处长出了水仙花(Narcissus)。图片来源:John William Waterhouse

    自恋分两种

    在 小说《道林·格雷的画像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray)中,主角道林·格雷(Dorian Gray)和亨利·沃顿勋爵(Lord Henry Wooton)都有很严重的自恋倾向,然而,二人自恋的表现却大为不同:亨利勋爵自恋得富有洞察力,表现得很有魅力,很明显是小说作者奥斯卡·王尔德 (Oscar Wilde)的自我影射。

    在该书的第一章中,亨利勋爵说:“不同的人,我是完全区别对待的。我选择好看的人做朋友,选择性格好的人来相识,选择智力高的人当敌人。选择敌人时得慎之又慎。我的敌人没有一个是傻瓜,而都是些智力不错的人。结果,他们也都很赏识我。”

    电影《道林·格雷的画像》中的亨利勋爵。图片来源:engmovies.net

    而道林·格雷的自恋则显得冷漠且具有破坏性,书中女演员西比尔·云妮(Sibyl Vane)因为发现格雷不再爱她而轻生,便是格雷的自恋所造成的恶果之一。

    在第七章中,西比尔对道林说:“你给我带来了更高尚的东西,一切艺术都不过是它的影子。你使我明白真爱的本质是什么。”结果道林·格雷非但没有感到丝毫感动和荣幸,反而愤怒地指控西比尔那天晚上的糟糕表演简直抹杀了自己曾经对她产生的爱。

    电影《道林·格雷的画像》中的道林·格雷。图片来源:homoliteratus.com

    成功的自恋者

    从2005年起,来自英国萨里大学(University of Surrey)的研究者贝琳达·博德(Belinda Board)和卡特琳娜·弗里岑(Katarina Fritzon)就一直在进行一项研究。在调查中,他们发现患有自恋型人格障碍、表演型人格障碍强迫型人格障碍的人,在高层行政管理人员中出现的几率,都比在布罗德莫精神病院(Broadmoor Hospital)里精神失常的刑事罪犯要高。

    这一结果提示,这些根深蒂固、可能不适应社会的人格特征,常常反而会使人受益。例如,具有自恋型人格障碍的人可能雄心勃勃、自信满满、专注于自我,并且能够充分利用周围的人和环境来获得最大收益。具有表演型人格障碍的人则可能擅长吸引和控制他人,因而在建立和发展商业关系上得心应手。

    在她们的研究中,博德和弗里岑将具有自恋性人格障碍的高层管理者们形容为“成功的精神病人”,而将精神失常的刑事罪犯们称为“失败的精神病人”。成功人士与精神病人这两类看似完全不同的人,背后可能有着被人们想象中更多的共同点。正如心理学家和哲学家威廉·詹姆斯(William James)在一百多年前所说:“当超群的才智和精神变态的性格同时出现在一个人身上,就极有可能造就一个伟人。”(编辑:Calo)

    “当超群的才智和精神变态的性格同时出现在一个人身上,就极有可能造就一个伟人。”图为《樱桃小丸子》里自恋的花轮。

     

    编译来源

     Psychology Today,Can Narcissism Be Good For You?

    相关热词搜索:自恋 好处

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